You’ve got the invite, you’ve got your wedding outfit, and you’re ready to party. But have you thought about how you can also be a good guest? Did you reply with a plus one and choose their meal? How fitting is your outfit? Are you coming up with less than appropriate zingers for a speech no one asked you to write?
Before you do anything (well, you should RSVP first), find out how to be the best guest you can be. Oh, and scrap the speech.
Seating charts. Assigned meals. Weddings are meticulously planned, so showing up after you forgot to RSVP puts the hosts into an awkward position As well, if you RSVP as a solo attendee, and then bring a plus one to the door, there’s a scramble to accommodate the unplanned guest. Even worse, if you have sent in your attending RSVP and then DON’T show up, you will take up a seat (or two if you RSVP’d for a plus one) that could have been filled by someone on the “B” invitation list. If you really can’t attend, be sure to let the couple know with enough notice for them to invite someone else and not waste the cost of the meals.
White Isn’t Right
Especially for destination weddings in magnificent tropical locales such as Cabo, the temptation to wear a flowy frock in white may be overwhelming, but just say no! Most summer/resort wear styles are available in pastel shades that won’t upstage the bride, who may just be planning the flowy white frock herself.
Also, ensure you understand the dress formality desired; it’s only okay to dress beach/casual if the couple has planned that wedding style.
Don’t Get Drunk
There’s nothing like an open bar to invoke the drinking devil in many people. Most of us can gauge our limits, having the resolve to switch to water or soda before embarrassing one’s self, friends & family and of course the gracious hosts.
In Cabo, the temptation to overindulge in our world-class margaritas or other tropical delights can be overwhelming, so try to plan your consumption in advance. Remember, the spotlight is on the couple, not you and your “snappy” dance moves or jokes!
Don’t Be a “Phoney”
Cell phones have become quite literally an extension of many peoples every thought. It should go without saying, but you need to turn your phone off, or at least the ringer, during the ceremony and other wedding events. This tiny gesture represents the minimal amount of respect that should be shown on one of the most important days of the couple’s entire life!
Be sure to find out the picture taking wishes for the ceremony as well since some couples find this distracting, and usually have a professional taking ceremony pictures. This includes posting to social media, of course!
Back in the day, young couples were usually just starting their first household and needed those traditional gifts of toasters, tablecloths and bed linens. Nowadays, most couples have well-established residences and focus more on the celebration than the gifts. Gift registries will reflect the couple’s desires, and often include portions of the wedding events (such as hotel room upgrades, dinners, and honeymoon components) that will enhance their experience.
Some couples request donations to a chosen charity. If they don’t offer any gifting instructions, be sure to find out what you can do or get for them well in advance. If they request no gifts, consider how you might offer a gift of your time, such as dog sitting or cooking.
Even the most casual ceremony or reception can include such things as delays, lengthy officiant musings, or boring speeches. Bearing in mind your silent phone ringer, show respect by sitting quietly, waiting it out, since it will end eventually!
A great segway from the patience topic, should you notice the source of the delay, consider quietly asking the wedding planner or another organizer if there is anything you could do to help out.
Try to sit as close to the front as possible at the ceremony and avoid spreading out over the seats. It will make the wedding photos look that much better. Don’t try to move out of your assigned seats at the reception. You could screw up the dinner service as the kitchen has been pre-informed of guest allergies.
Naturally, these suggestions will vary according to many factors, such as your relationship to the couple, etc. but should serve as a general “good guest” guideline!